Annie Where-but-here's Page

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. However, he's in line behind the banks and car manufacturers for a government bailout. If Santa had been allowed to drill for oil on his property, you might be seeing something decent under your tree. But noooo - we were too worried about saving the permafrost to let him drill.

So you're on your own this year. The elves are getting reindeer steaks, and since he finally got satellite tv, the big guy is staying home, emailing gift cards to everyone instead o… Continue

The other night I was esconced in an elite social club/corner bar when tragedy struck. A friend's jeans, perhaps stretched beyond suggested torque limits, split wide open across the back pocket. They were her favorite pair, but years of stress and strain had taken a toll, and now a fair slab of skin was peeking out. A weaker woman would have run for the door in tears, but not my friend.

She held her ground, and her pants, for she had... duct tape.

I was so proud. Whipping out her Hello… Continue

In an effort to release some of the sugarized energy buzzing from my two sons as they thinned their herd of chocolate Easter bunnies, we went to Legoland, a pleasant theme park consisting of tiny blocks, tiny European humor, and the requisite tiny screechy children. I honestly do like going there. Unfortunately I couldn't find anyone to watch my kids so I had to take them with me.

After hiking 87.3 miles and consuming approximately 23 odd snacks and beverages in even odder containers, we… Continue