For those willing to use their funnybones

All Blog Posts (159)

News of Breaking News!

We have breaking news about a horrific incident that may have taken place at an undisclosed location in the downtown area of a major American city. (Read more on Humorality.com) Continue

Added by Tim Patrick on November 16, 2009 at 2:00pm — No Comments

White House Phone Menu System

Please listen carefully as our menu options and several of our healthcare-related policies have recently changed. (Read more on Humorality.com) Continue

Added by Tim Patrick on November 9, 2009 at 2:00pm — No Comments

Election Czar Cuts Republican Votes by 90%

Republicans are crying foul at a new executive order issued by President Barack Obama that will reduce each conservative's vote to one-tenth of its previous level. (Read more on Humorality.com) Continue

Added by Tim Patrick on November 2, 2009 at 2:00pm — No Comments

Ant Misbehaving

Southern California is a great place to live. No matter how difficult the work week is, there's always a sunny weekend ahead: a chance to get in your car, drive to the some scenic mountain or ocean recreation spot, and feel your skin warmed by the collective friction of millions of tiny ant feet. (Re… Continue

Added by Tim Patrick on October 26, 2009 at 2:00pm — No Comments

The Guinea Pig Report: Classic Pickle

As a wannabe publishee, my dream, like many others, is to write the next classic. The book that defines our era, that stands the test of time and (of equal importance), sells millions of copies worldwide! And why not? So many great authors before us have done so. Just like my 9 year-old son who plays Rock Band and imagines himself the next Steven Tyler, I fall prey to thinking I'm the next Jane Austen or Augusten Burroughs. I try to balance my writing with my reading. With each book I read, I a… Continue

Added by Sharon HGTV on October 21, 2009 at 4:00pm — No Comments

Santa Claus Laid Off

The North Pole Board of Directors today filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection for its overnight delivery service, and announced the immediate suspension of division president Santa Claus from his regular gift giving and elf management duties. (Read more on… Continue

Added by Tim Patrick on October 19, 2009 at 2:00pm — No Comments

French shoe designer feels that Barbie, the vinyl fashionista's ankles are too fat

"French shoe designer Christian Louboutin, who is known for his high-priced high heels, doesn't find Barbie's classic figure flattering and he says her ankles are fat." Word has it that Barbie is furious about Louboutin's statement and observation and is threatening to throw out her 125 pairs of Loutoutin shoes. "I said 'maybe'... I mean, I haven't decided yet. I just could, y'know!" the vinyl fashionista told reporters when questioned as to whether or not she was serious or just threa… Continue

Added by Eleanor Tylbor on October 18, 2009 at 4:07pm — No Comments

Tom betrays his girlfriend: the fur flies

I'm so...farklempt. Seems that Tom has betrayed his girlfriend. Thing is, the girlfriend assumed they would be wed and even went so far as to buy a wedding gown, all for nothing. Of course she is very perturbed and wants nothing more to do with the cad. Watch this video and you'll understand her dilemma. It's really the cat's meow. Damn tom cat! Enjoy - and laugh. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-vd0s9Da2U Continue

Added by Eleanor Tylbor on October 17, 2009 at 7:08pm — No Comments

God Sues Researchers for DNA Piracy

God filed suit in federal court today against several dozen scientist engaged in illegal copying and distribution of previously licensed DNA. (Read more on Humorality.com) Continue

Added by Tim Patrick on October 12, 2009 at 2:00pm — No Comments

Church Lotto Jackpot Exceeds $12 Million

There were no winners in last Sunday's Lotto drawing at Saint Andrew's Church, so the entire jackpot rolls over into next week. A surge in ticket sales is sure to push the payoff for a single ticket with all six numbers correct to nearly $12.3 million dollars. (Read more on… Continue

Added by Tim Patrick on October 5, 2009 at 2:00pm — No Comments

Bra Cups Runneth Over As a Gas Mask

For most females (and males as the case may be) a bra is something one wears to enhance/shape/retain/contain one's breasts. There could be other lesser known uses, for example, a sling-shot or a small container in which to carry seashells collected on a beach or even a cupcake holder. Interesting but lesser-known stuff. However, the winner of the 2009 Ig Nobel Prize, one Dr. Elena Bodnar, took home the public health prize for creating a dual bra that could be converted (if n… Continue

Added by Eleanor Tylbor on October 2, 2009 at 2:30pm — No Comments

Seventh Grader Announces Open Source Book Report

Stone Clements, a seventh grader at Washington Middle School, has launched a new open source book report project, and is looking for qualified readers, documentation specialists, beta testers, and editors to participate in the collaborative venture. (Read more on… Continue

Added by Tim Patrick on September 28, 2009 at 2:56pm — No Comments

Muscle Memory

The Charles Atlas cartoon-panel advertisements from my youth featured a 98-pound weakling getting sand kicked in his face by a tough beach bully. Fortunately, the puny youth signed up for Charles Atlas's body-building course, and in no time he was able to confront the bully. Unfortunately, the bully wa… Continue

Added by Tim Patrick on September 27, 2009 at 10:55am — No Comments

Brits suffer cookie injuries - really!

Why anyone would want a survey focusing on cookie accidents is puzzling but then this story comes from England, where scientists produce some very "interesting" studies. According to a new survey written up in the Daily Telegraph, more than half of all Britons have been injured by biscuits. You read it right: good, old cookies. We're not talking anything physical like angry tea drinkers tossing biscuits at each other. Britons are a civilized lot and would never deem to such actions. It appears… Continue

Added by Eleanor Tylbor on September 8, 2009 at 5:47pm — No Comments

Britain has its own Roswell? Did they or didn't they?

By now everyone - at least those who are into UFO sightings - are aware of Roswell and the controversy it has created over the years. Was it real...weather balloons...piece of alien spacecraft. Anywaaaaay... It appears that staid Britain could have had its own UFO occurrence known locally as the "Rendlesham Incident" that happened in 1980 when U.S. air force pilots saw strange lights in Suffolk, England. The one-time head of the armed forces told the defence secretary a UFO claim known as Brit… Continue

Added by Eleanor Tylbor on August 23, 2009 at 9:13am — No Comments

Call me cosmetically-challenged

It occurred to me while conducting one of my favorite pastimes, which is hanging out at the cosmetic display that this is one growth industry and one which thrives on vanity. Over the years I've bought, used and then tossed out thousands...maybe even millions of lipsticks not to mention foundation, eye shadow and other supplies, following one use. It's not that I want to discard them given the p… Continue

Added by Eleanor Tylbor on August 13, 2009 at 4:32pm — No Comments

G.I. Joe - the 'real' one - discusses the movie with his name in it

After a stressful period of being relegated to a toy factory along with his love, BARBIE and her ex, KEN, the real G.I. JOE is quite upset that a movie has been made using his name as a draw. In a hastily called press conference, G.I. JOE with BARBIE by his side in his words, "wanted to clear the air." "This is really bisrusting," G.I. Joe blustered waving his trusty machine gun in the air to emphasize his emotional angst. "They've gone and used my name and they didn't even ask me if they could… Continue

Added by Eleanor Tylbor on August 11, 2009 at 5:59pm — 1 Comment

Visual Jokes - An Anthology of The Best.

Searcher Comedy Club Musical Theme: "Take me Home, Country Roads, by John Denver." HUMOR ANTHOLOGY HUMOR FROM THE HEARTLAND ©Searcher Comedy Club Searcher Foundation 2008 HUMOR FORWARD First Compilation 7/1/08 Modified: 12/14/2008. Total: 243 We are a story telling family, a tradition missing in many. Our family reunions are full of belly laughs. My Father, whose stories are featured here, was one of the funniest men I've ever known due to his absolute deadpan delivery. My Uncles come a close… Continue

Added by blueraven6 on August 4, 2009 at 7:48pm — No Comments

Look up - is it...could it be...flying cheddar?

Let's say you're walking along minding your own business enjoying everything the summer has to offer when suddenly you spot a colored object flying and/or floating in the sky. The object doesn't emit any sound so an airplane is out. Upon closer examination it appears to be yellow-ish or orange-ish, wedge shaped and the question arises as to whether aliens are becoming more creative and assuming the guise of cheese. There is a simple and much more weird explanation along with essential background… Continue

Added by Eleanor Tylbor on July 29, 2009 at 3:08pm — No Comments

No, really. I'm funny! - Adult language & content

Those that know me -which are the only people that read my blog -know that I've done stand-up. I've always had the support of my friends, both near and far (side bar to do my Grover impression: Neeeaaaaaaar! *run* *run* *pant* *pant* *pant* Faaaaaar! Damn, I sounded just like him). They've showed up to my shows, most of which have sucked. Eons of trying, and having far more shitty shows than side splitters. I can say I've "killed" an audience before, but the ratio is crap. Ca-ca. Shit. Poo. I've… Continue

Added by Kirk Otto on June 30, 2009 at 4:35pm — 2 Comments